Category: Male Sexuality

There was a day when you left the house keyed up and did something you would normally talk yourself out of. You spoke first. You held the eye contact a beat longer than usual. Nothing had changed since the week before except the state you were carrying, and it had lent you a nerve you…

You woke at 6am on a Tuesday, damp, and before the sheets were off you were on your phone trying to find out whether it counts. Twelve days, thirty-one, whatever the number had climbed to. Half the answers say a nofap wet dream puts you back at zero, because a release is a release. The…

A nofap relapse is one release, and that is the whole of what happened in your body tonight. The counter disagrees. It reads day zero now, a confession post is half-drafted in your head, and underneath both of those sits the quiet argument that the night is already ruined, so there’s no point stopping at…

You sent it four hours ago. Since then you have picked up your phone something like thirty times, and each time the screen has told you nothing, and each time something behind your ribs has dropped half an inch. You have reread what you wrote. You have found one word in it you would change.…

It is Thursday evening and you are standing in your hallway holding your jacket, not putting it on. You have done this for months. You went out, you messaged, you got yourself into rooms where something could happen, and you kept showing up on nights when you would rather have stayed home. Tonight the thought…

Confidence during sex is generated in the room, while you are in it, by staying engaged with what is happening in front of you. It runs while you stay engaged and it cuts out when you stop, which is why it can hold on a Tuesday and desert you on a Friday with the same…

Don’t. Don’t finish, don’t open anything, don’t let a hand wander at eleven at night with the door shut. Clear the apps on the 31st, tell one friend so there is someone you would have to confess to, and hold the line across thirty days. That is the full set of rules for no nut…

You finished in under a minute last night, and neither of you said anything about it. You went to the bathroom, ran the tap, and in the ninety seconds you stood there you handed down a whole verdict: something is wrong with you, you specifically, not the week you’d had and not the situation. Premature…

You can sit through a date you spent months working toward and feel nothing, because getting the date and wanting the woman across from you run on separate systems, and only one of them answers to effort. The approach, the texts, the nerve it took to suggest a day: that was a goal, and you…

A want shows up, and before you have finished feeling it your hand is already moving. The tab closes. The thought gets traded for a work email, or for a joke you tell yourself about yourself. A woman at the next table gets one look, and then you read the menu as if it owed…