Author: Zahav Elyon

In January 2024, partway through a log I was keeping on my own pelvic-floor practice, I wrote myself one line. I’d finally named something I’d been circling for months without a name for it:

You’ve read the list by now. Give up ejaculating for a while and you’re supposed to come out sharper: more drive, more confidence, a clearer head, maybe a bump in testosterone. Every semen retention benefits page runs some version of it. You want to know if any of it is real, or if you’ve just…

You searched osho tantra and ran into the same phrase everywhere: the “valley orgasm.” Lovemaking that can stretch past an hour with almost no movement. Energy said to rise up through the whole body. Tantra described as prayer, not technique, two people meeting as a god and a goddess rather than working through a method.

You read about Mantak Chia’s version first, probably. Get close to the edge, don’t ejaculate, breathe the energy up your spine, and orgasm after orgasm is supposed to follow. You tried it. You got one peak that felt bigger than usual. Then, no matter how long you kept going after that, nothing else happened.

You got worked up and didn’t finish. Now there’s a dull, heavy ache sitting low in your testicles that won’t quit. You searched it, and the internet has a name ready for you: blue balls. Every page agrees it’s real, mostly harmless, and that the fix is one of three things. Ejaculate. Take a cold…

You set the rules before day one: no dating, no porn, no masturbation, thirty, sixty or ninety days straight. Almost every monk mode guide gives you the same reason to hold the line. The sexual energy you’re not spending gets redirected into ambition and focus instead.

Slow everything down. Stop thrusting. Don’t reach for orgasm at all, hers or yours. Let the stillness itself carry the connection between you.

You searched reverse kegel for men and found the same drill everywhere: relax and lengthen the muscle, hold it a few seconds, repeat ten times, twice a day, filed under pelvic pain, erectile trouble, or lasting longer in bed.

You were searching for post nut clarity because you just finished. The pull that had you searching five minutes ago isn’t there anymore. What’s left is closer to boredom, or a low buzz of embarrassment. The internet has a ready answer: dopamine crashes, prolactin spikes, and your brain snaps back into focus like a switch…

The instruction you’ve probably run into, whether from a forum thread on retention or a video promising to teach you bhairava tantra, sounds like this: stay attentive to the fire at the beginning of arousal. Continue that attention, and you avoid the embers at the end. It usually arrives wrapped in nadis, chakras and energy…